Shape the human you want to see in the mirror

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Kristina
The weekly photochallange topic is Mirror and I was thinking to use some of my favourite reflection photos alongside with useful dialogue design rules which create the reflection of the listener of what he/she just heard. There are some truly useful things which could help make your communication more effective, so if you want your words to be understood in a right way follow the next passages.
Did you ever have a question which you’ve found uncomfortable to ask? You were hesitating if this is ok for the person to hear this? Sometimes, we just want to make a conversation, but one simple narrative, question, answer could sound like a blame, excuse and may cause an offence for the listener.
There is one quote which i like that much: “If only you could know how often people understand your words in a wrong way, you’ll keep silence more frequently.” I don’t remember who said this but I would consider it as a truth.
The art of dialogue design teach us how to address the message and how to get back the sense of what you just said from your listener. If you want a person to understand your words – ask what she/he just heard?
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Sometimes small conversation could cause conflict only because of the strategy of dialogue we have chosen. Take care of your words… If you are not sure that the person is ready to talk – don’t share it. Every conflict starts with unsatisfied needs, so first try to understand what exactly was this necessity a person did’t get and don’t feel sorry for the person, but show your empathy.
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There are 3 signs of the empathy:
1) You really want to understand person;
2) Be present here and now;
3) Focusing on the feelings and needs of another person.
There are 4 steps to design a dialogue to be heard:
– observe the facts from conversation;
– try to understand feelings/ emotions of the speaker;
– find the needs of a person who is telling a story;
– address your inquiry of what you need form a person.
On the last step be ready to get negative answer, but as someone said: “No – is just another chance to hear Yes.”
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During one interesting session about dialogue design I got this useful knowledge and and as a summary we discovered such instruments of creating effective dialogue:

 

* try to get back the sense of what you’ve just said/ heard;
* be a good listener;
* separate facts from prejudices;
* use 4 steps of dialogue design mentioned above;
* be emphatic;

 

Use your skills to speak beautifully and make your words sound exactly what you mean.
C (759)
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13 thoughts on “Shape the human you want to see in the mirror

  1. i really loved this post, it was exactly what I needed. I’m a bit unable in conversations and I wanted to improve my communicative skills. I will follow this tips. thank you very much.
    if you want visit my page, I would like to know your opinion.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words, it is nice to hear that someone might use it =) These precious tips I’ve got from talented dialogue facilitators who helped me to understand many of communicative issues.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. They are trainers, facilitators of the dialogue. They are kind of psychologists but specified in the mastership of creating a dialogue

        Like

  2. Thanks Lydiia makes a lot of sense. Your first quote makes me think of what the Afrikaans writer CJ Langenhoven already said in the 1920’s roughly translated: Lend out your ears to everyone who has a tongue, but do not lend out your tongue to anyone who has ears and also that there is a reason why we have 2 ears and 1 mouth.

    Nice article and photos

    Liked by 1 person

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